And before you ask no I'm drunk(ish) either. :dry:

Firstly let me give credit were credit is due and say this is not my idea but the astute observations of the nerds at the Whiff of Cordite blog who wrote about the following theory which I am molding into a Connacht perspective. You can read their unblemished piece here

whiffofcordite.com/2013/10/17/parallel-universe/

This is the edited theory:

"The way the French typically set up their back five and operate their lineout is very different to Irish teams. Their second rows are designed primarily with scrummaging and mauling in mind, with a side order of lifting – yes, lifting, not jumping – in the lineout. In the winter months, the Top Quatorze turns into a slog, invariably decided by penalties, so having a hefty scrum to milk the opposition for three pointers is seen as de rigeur. So the French think nothing of picking two of what we would call ‘tighthead locks’, the oversized granite-hewn chaps that add heft to the scrum and maul. For Ireland think Mike McCarthy or Donncha O’Callaghan, though in France Donners would probably be considered underpowered. For the French, think classical baby-munchers like Lionel Nallet and Romain Millo-Chluski. Both top out at 195cm, below the 1.99m mark that is almost considered minimum for the role in Ireland. Clermont’s gruesome twosome of Jamie Cudmore and Nathan Hines are old and not particularly tall or athletic in the lineout, but bleedin’ heck, what a lot of grunt they add to the team in the tight.

This weekend Castres will line out (assuming they bring their A-team, which they probably won’t, but anyway) with Richie Gray and Uruguayan behemoth Capo Ortega in the second row. Gray is a decent lienout jumper, in spite of his size, but don’t expect to see the burly 195cm Ortega get in the air too much. At the weekend they won five lineouts, but only one of those won by Gray, while Ortega took none.

Same goes for Montpellier, who will have to try and get all 124kg of Jim Hamilton off the ground a few times, but the 134kg Robins Tchale-Watchou will be positively earthbound throughout.

So who catches the ball in the lineout, then? The chaps in the backrow, that’s who. Most French teams contain a light, athletic backrow who they can fling in the air with ease, and who runs the lineout. The model performer in this role has been Julien Bonnaire, who has ruled the skies for eons for both France and Clermont Auvergne. Toulouse’s unsung hero Jean Bouilhou was their lineout specialist even when Fabian Pelous was around. Imanol Harinordoquy’s lineout skills are almost unparalleled in world rugby – some of his one-handed takes are to die for. Montpellier’s main lineout man is the exceptionally athletic Fulgence Ouedraogo. Though not especially tall, he has an extraordinarily springy leap and at 102kg he can be flung miles into the air. Each of the Castres backrow caught a lineout against Northampton and between them they stole two of Northampton’s throws.

For Ireland, picking a second row of, say, Dan Tuohy and Mike McCarthy would be unthinkable; too unbalanced. Where’s the lineout man? If Peter O’Mahony and Kevin McLaughlin were French, they’d probably be the main lineout callers in their teams. Both are tall, springy and athletic and are great catchers when in the air. More interestingly, and it’s a point Demented Mole has made before, if Tony Buckley were French he would never have been converted from the second row to prop. At 196cm and a whopping (according to Wikipedia) 138kg, he could hardly be expected to catch much lineout ball, but that would be no barrier to success if he had the likes of Ouedraogo around him. Buckley’s decision to convert to front row was no doubt a result of Ireland’s dearth in that area, while locks would have been in abundance. Had those around him been able to forecast how the scrum dynamics would shift (almost impossible, unfortunately), and how important all-conquering power in the engine room would become, it would probably never have come to pass. Buckley’s career has been mired by an inability to master the technicalities of scrummaging; in a parallel universe somewhere he’s lording it up, dishing the hurt out with his sheer bulk in the second row."

So imagine Lam got on the phone to Sale and signed Tony Buckley. He's our new player and we try not the hear the guffaws coming from the other three provinces. But now let me present to you the Connacht pack for this hypothetical season.

1. Brett Wilkinson 2. Jason Harris-Wright 3. Nathan White

4. Rodney Ah-You 5. Tony Buckley

6. Andrew Browne 8. George Naopou 7. Jake Heenan

One of the most disheartening things about Connacht the last few seasons is that out pack has being tossed around and destroyed against most heavyweight teams think Ulster last season in Ravenhill and apart from the occasional mighty effort we're usually back-pedaling or just holding our own. Now look at that tight 5 and tell me if that wouldn't give us parity with most of the top teams in Europe? And while it's ironic that just as Dave is becoming a solid TH there's nothing stopping him being versatile.
In fact the best part of Buckley and Ah You's game is going forward with the ball and breaking through the line or general loose play. It's only when they have to do the things like scrummage that both Ah You used to be a liability and Buckley still is at scrum time. You take away the technique of the front row and just ask for raw power in the second and you have 2 major assets boosting the front three by a huge amount.

All that leaves us now is line-out jumpers. We need two minimum. So lets take a look at the number 6 position shall we? Andrew Browne, Al Muldowney and Mick Kearney are all second rowers who can and do play 6 so we wouldn't be losing one there. Jake Heenan is 6'3 and 98 kg and with his athleticism I don't think throwing him in the air would affect us a huge amount. (Faloon would though). At 8 we have George who has played in the second row countless times and who can forget his one handed catch a few seasons ago? So with George and Andrew Browne as our two line-out jumpers and Heenan as our wildcard we should be able to cover the line-out as well. This gives us a stable platform to unleash what is arguabley the most talented backline that Connacht has ever had.

Are we losing Clarke? Yes but we could have him on the bench to unleash him with 20 minutes to go. That would still give us either Buckley or Ah You as the lock behind the TH for power while Clarke does his stuff in the rucks. It's only a hypothetical but with just one signing and some imagination we could have a hell of a pack that would be feared throughout Europe.

Thoughts?